Vertically Challenged

Santana Moss of the Redskins is facing the lowly, winless Rams defense, so I start him.  He earns me all of 3.2 points (for those who don't know, that really sucks).

Marvin Harrison of the Colts hasn't done anything for me all year and is facing a pretty good Ravens defense, so I bench him.  He decides to earn 21.8 points...none of which count, because he's on my bench.

Assholes.

This was forwarded to me in an e-mail, but it seemed to make more sense to post here...

1.	What is your occupation right now?	The official term is Transaction Coordinator.  Fancy for "I sit at a desk and deal with idiots all day".
2.	What color are your socks right now?	n/a
3.	What are you listening to right now?	Sunday Night Football Pregame Show
4.	What was the last thing that you ate?	chicken, mashed potatoes & corn
5.	Can you drive a stick shift?	I've tried and failed many times
6.	Last person you spoke to on the phone?	my mom
7.	Do you like the person who sent this to you?	Yes! :)
8.	How old are you today?	28
9.	What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?	baseball
10.	What is your favorite drink?	Bailey's
11.	Have you ever dyed your hair?	yes
12.	Favorite food?	chocolate anything
13.	What is the last movie you watched?	some crappy movie they showed on the plane
14.	Favorite day of the year?	Christmas
15.	How do you vent anger?	many, many expletives
16.	What was your favorite toy as a child?	ball & glove
17.	What is your favorite season?	summer
18.	Cherries or Blueberries?	neither
19.	Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?	why not?
20.	Who is the most likely to respond?	don't know
21.	Who is least likely to respond?	I would say Ryan, but then he'll read this and respond just to prove me wrong
22.	Living arrangements?	me & the hubby
23.	When was the last time you cried?	don't know...maybe 3 weeks ago?
24.	What is on the floor of your closet?	several pairs of shoes
25.	Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?	I'm not really sending it, per se, but I've known Sandy the longest, so if she reads it, probably her.
26.	What did you do last night	came home from Maui :(
27.	What are you most afraid of	losing it...losing everything...
28.	Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers	cheese
29.	Favorite dog breed?	NONE
30.	Favorite day of the week?	Saturday
31	How many states have you lived in?	2
32.	Diamonds or pearls?	Diamonds
33.	What is your favorite flower?	roses

I have not had a chance to post in a while...damn life gets in the way!  Here are some recent highlights and lowlights of my life:

HIGHLIGHTS:
+ Ryan and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary this past Wednesday.  Hooray for marriage! :)
+ On Saturday, I will attend my 3rd live baseball game in the past week!
+ I got to see Isaac & Peter Kupfer on the local news: http://cbs2chicago.com/video/?id=47269@wbbm.dayport.com
+ I'm done with my summer class!  Now to get reimbursed...
+ I was asked to be in an important meeting at work in about 2 weeks...details pending...
+ I'm pretty sure I found a REALLY fabulous bra, though I'm not entirely sure it's worth the $45 price tag: the Biofit bra at Victoria's Secret!
+ I'll soon be in Minnesota celebrating Ryan & Brenna's wedding with some of my favorite people!

LOWLIGHTS:
- The Cubs swept the Brewers this week.  What really needed to happen is for the series to be split evenly, and then they could both proceed to beat up on the rest of the National League.  This was so much easier when the Brewers were in the American League.
- Ryan and I didn't get to our seats on Tuesday until the 4th inning.  We've never had this much trouble getting to a game at Miller Park, even for Cubs/Brewers games.  Preferred Parking: sold out.  General Parking: sold out.  It was bullshit....
- I registered for my fall classes...which meant I had to promptly pay for those fall classes...
- Lane Bryant coupons are not good on Right Fit pants, among many other things.  Damn restrictions...
- Month-end and finals prevented me from participating in scrapbooking/female bonding time.

Until next time...

I wanted some clarification from my professor regarding an assignment for my online class, and posted the following on the designated discussion board:

Hello, I'm wondering if I could have some things clarified about Assignment #2:

1) In Question 1b, it asks if they have an adequate emergency fund.  However, nothing on the first page specifically mentions an emergency fund; rather, that they have $6,000 in savings & checking at their bank.  Are we to assume that these are one and the same in answering 1b?

2) In Question 3, the ages of the children are listed at 9 & 11, but on the first page they're listed as 5 & 7.  Which set of ages should we be using in calculating their tuitions?

3) In Question 4b, there is no rate of return specified for the 401k; however, Question 4c says to assume a 7% return.  Should we assume the same 7% return in calculating the answer to 4b?

Thanks in advance for your assistance with these questions!

Some students who apparently thought they were smart decided they could speak for the teacher, and posted the following:

Hi Angela,

Whatever answer you calculate for the liquidity ratio equals the # of months in which living expenses can be paid if an emergency occured. The higher the better. So the liquidity ratio is the "emergency fund" in the sense that how many months could the Carter family pay off their expenses if there was an emergency.

Nowhere in my original post did I ask what a liquidity ratio means, or how to calculate it.

Anglea,

1. Ask yourself if you would consider the $6,000 in a savings & checking amount to be an emergency fund.

I have a savings & checking account that is for the purpose of paying my living expenses, debts, home improvements, and other stuff. But my mutual fund money market account  is my designated emergency fund.

2. I used the summary on page one to calculate for tuitions.

3. Remember pages 10-12 of Chapter 1? Assume a rate of return and use the FV Tables in Appendix A of our class text.

The assignment didn't ask whether we considered the checking/savings balance to be an emergency fund, it asked if we thought the family had enough saved in one, and the checking/savings was not explicitly designated as their emergency fund.

I don't care what your personal designated emergency fund is.

I realize I need to use Appendix A to calculate future values, but this calculation cannot be done without a specified rate of return.  THAT was my issue.

If people weren't so busy trying to play professor, they would have read and interpreted my questions correctly, instead of just blabbing some stupid-ass answer to something I didn't ask.

By the way, the actual professor's response was:

These are good questions...On the Emergency fund question, use the Checking and savings account balances as being available in an emergency.  The brokerage account and finally the 401k may be tapped, but these should not be considered as part of the emergency fund

Please use ages 9 and 11 for the children, to calculate tuition

Use 7% as the rate of return for questions 4b and 4c

A corrected assignment has been posted.  If you have turned in your assignment already, this is fine.  Otherwise, please download and use the corrected assignment.  If you already posted the assignment and would like to resubmit, let me know.  I can clear your earlier submission.

Like I said, the actual professor knew how to read and interpret my questions correctly, and took appropriate action.

Damn know-it-alls...

I just processed a payment from a lady named Fatress.  Fatress?  Really?  I feel for her...

Let me preface this: about 3 months ago, the purchasing ladies decided that our department needed to have a regular food day, in which we were to all rotate bringing in lunch for the department.  This was to mirror the finance department's "Tuesday Soup Club".  It somehow turned into rotating who brings the main dish, and then everyone else has to supply side items/condiments/beverages, also indicating that if you don't bring anything, you don't eat.  In all, there are 14 ladies in our department, generally resulting in a main dish, and then 13 side items.  I'm sure you can tell already that this idea makes tons of sense.  I mean, I love food (clearly), but even I don't think about it as much as the other ladies in my office.

Today, it was decided that this month's lunch would actually be a breakfast.  And one of the ladies actually signed up to bring coffee (not flavored, just regular), cream, and sugar...all of which are currently provided free of charge by the corporate office.  Not even kidding.  I mean, I know I hoard a ton of coupons and am elated to find bargains...but really?  Come on...

It astounds me that there are still people who exist within a corporate environment who still don't know how to flush a toilet.  I really don't get this.
 

Um, so I just had the biggest brain fart I've had in a VERY long time...

Ryan wanted a haircut, which I've been doing for him for 3+ years now.  So I go to start this most recent one...and I'd forgotten to put the #3 guard on the trimmer.  Not even kidding.  So inadvertently, Ryan ended up with a VERY short crew cut.  I immediately cried, of course, just enormously pissed off at myself for being so stupid.  Ryan just started laughing, though really I think his heart probably sank like a brick.  Luckily for both of us, it doesn't look bad.  For those of you familiar with Cash Cab, he looks a lot like the host, Ben Bailey, but without the receding hairline.

 

So go easy on any crap you decide to dish out.  He's a good sport.  I'm an idiot.

I have decided once again to throw myself into an NCAA men's tournament pool, this time with some of my family members.  The ultimate goal is to be $110 richer in approximately 2 1/2 weeks.  As I know very little about college basketball, this is highly unlikely, but worth a shot!

I won't go into too much detail, as I imagine that sports bore the piss out of most of you.  But I have as my Final Four: Kansas, North Carolina, Texas, and Connecticut, with Kansas beating Texas in the championship game 84-80.  We'll see how this goes...
 

I have discovered today that Diet Coke sweetened with Splenda is much more tolerable than normal Diet Coke, which generally makes me want to vomit.

That is all.